I’ve been doing some thinking about forgiveness lately. My P.I. character, Rona Shively has struggled with issues related to forgiving people. She has been estranged from her mother for years, she recently broke off her relationship with her boyfriend who was also a close friend for many years, and she also has difficulty forgiving herself when she makes a mistake. The underlying problem with Rona is that she sees forgiveness as allowing someone to walk all over you and then just saying, “Okay, just don’t do it again.”

I completely understand having issues around forgiving those who have wronged you. Forgiveness does not translate into allowing someone the opportunity to screw you all over again. It does not mean that you will necessarily give someone the opportunity to hurt you again. Forgiving someone does not necessarily absolve that person of their sins and it doesn’t have to mean that you give them another chance to do anything to you again whether that thing be bad or good.

I can see where forgiveness is important; however, I think many people often mistake the intended outcome of the act (which is to free the forgiving party’s soul to live a life energized by love and peace instead of being burdened by anger and hatred) for their own interpretation of the meaning of forgiveness. In other words, if the person who has hurt you believes that being forgiven gives them a clean slate on which to once again stomp you into then they miss the point. Forgiveness isn’t really meant to make the offending party feel better, though that’s the way it is often taken. In many cases, people mistakedly believe that forgiveness is meant to serve as a “starting over” point when it may actually be a “jumping off” point for moving on to a better situation.

Rona Shively has been dealing for years with the guilt of having not been able to forgive her mother for cheating on her father. When her boyfriend cheats on her, she wants to have nothing more to do with him. As she continues to grow from book to book, her capacity for forgiveness is gaining momentum. She will soon find herself in a situation where forgiveness may be the difference between life and death. I’ll share more about that as I get closer to getting the next book in the series finished. For now, check out This Side Up: The Rona Shively Stories. I’m offering a special right now for anyone who would like to buy two or more Rona Shively Stories! Order two or more of the stories (In the Wash, Under Lock and Key, Keeping the Faith, This Side Up) at the low price of $10 each and shipping is absolutely free! To order this special, e-mail me and put the word “Forgiveness” in the subject line. I’ll be running this special until May 1, 2010.

Until next time…

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