Do you remember your first time?

Reading your favorite mystery novel, that is. What did you think I was talking about? Get your mind out of the gutter and join me as I talk about the first time I read a book by one of my favorite authors, Sue Grafton.

Back in the early nineties, I was working at a home for unruly children. There’s probably a better term for this, but at the time that’s what I called it. I worked the third shift and part of my duties included sitting in the back hall at night and making sure that the girls on the unit stayed in their rooms. I occasionally had to walk around and check each room to make sure that they were, in fact, sleeping and not hurting each other. For the most part, they behaved, so it was a fairly easy assignment. We were allowed to read while we sat in the back hall, since there was really nothing else to do. So, one night I grabbed a random book from the shelf in the office before venturing back to my post. The title was, simply enough, “B is for Burglar.” I thought it sounded fairly mild and that it wouldn’t require much thought on my part, so it seemed like a good choice. Little did I know that waiting for me beyond that cover were pages of a story that would inspire me to start writing my own mystery series.

It was around 1993 or ’94 and the book had been published in 1985. The author, was Sue Grafton. One of the reigning queens of mystery (in my opinion). And after reading this book, which was the second book in the series, I immediately went in search of the first book. And from there, I later read every single one up to the very last book Grafton published before she passed away in 2017. I read them in paperback and listened to the audiobooks throughout the years, sometimes several times over. They were comforting, in the way that old television reruns are a comfort. And when I needed inspiration or just motivation to keep going, listening to Kinsey Millhone work her way through a case without the help of the internet, cell phones, or other modern-day accoutrements was refreshing. It reminds me that anything is possible no matter what it may look like on the surface.

In 2006, I actually received some advice in a letter from Ms. Grafton. Unfortunately, it was not what you’d call uplifting. It was early in my writing career and I had stupidly sent her a copy of my first book, In the Wash: The Rona Shively Stories. She had read a few chapters and then decided to let me know that my work was substandard, in her opinion. I had been so hurt by her feedback that for a time, I couldn’t even look at her books for several years after that. In the letter, she made the snap judgement that my first attempt at a hard-boiled private eye novel was something I’d not taken seriously and implied that my motivation was simply to be published quickly and get famous. She decided this without knowing anything about me and I was so absolutely deflated by her comments that I nearly trashed the whole writing thing. But I knew that my motivation had never been anything so lame or pretentious as just wanting to be published or popular, so I decided to press on. She had no idea how many hours I’d spent in the library researching all of the pieces of the plot I’d put together in my head. She had no idea that I’d been discouraged from being a writer when I was still a teenager and that I’d only just picked it back up after nearly fifteen years of not writing. She had no idea that the birth of my first and only child had inspired me to try writing again. Or that reading her books was why I had decided to write a book in the first place. She just assumed that I was another of hundreds of amateur writers who would never put in the kind of time and energy she’d put into her novels. But she was wrong. She was an excellent author, but God rest her soul, she knew nothing about me, my personal struggles, or what kind of writing I was capable of and her criticism became the number one reason why I went on to write books two through ten of The Rona Shively Stories series.

Eventually, I did read the rest of her books, as I indicated above. I read the whole series and was always impressed by how she could weave a story together so vividly and with so much detail. She was an excellent writer and I’m truly sad that she did not get to finish the Kinsey Millhone series. It’s probably one of the greatest injustices a writer can suffer; leaving a great series unfinished. But no one will ever be able to write Kinsey like she wrote Kinsey. And no other author should want to do that. As authors, we should want to write our own characters in the way that we want to write them. And we should write unapologetically, using our experiences and the skills that God has given us to create stories of our own; stories that will speak to readers as no other author’s stories can. Her words may have ripped my heart out at the time (even if that wasn’t her intention), but in that pain I found what I needed to justify writing Rona the way I wanted to write her. She was my character and my characters don’t always know everything they need to know when they need to know it. My characters are on a journey, trying to figure out what it all means and why we bother.

Ultimately, Grafton’s words did motivate me to become a better author and to help others get their stories out there (hopefully without ever making them feel as low as I felt back then). I’ve always felt that there is more than enough room on the stage for all of us. Writers who have just started and writers who have been around a while. And I never saw the logic in making someone feel terrible about their writing if they had the courage to at least try it. Everyone has a story to tell; some may not be as exciting or endearing as others, but they don’t have to be. We can all learn from one another’s experiences and if someone wants to try and share those experiences in a book, what harm does it do to encourage them to do just that? As a publisher now, I always try to look at the stories I receive through the lens of someone who is looking for advice in whatever the subject mater area presented in a manuscript may be. Some are a fit for my company, some aren’t. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t serious about writing. Or that they shouldn’t bother. We can’t all be Sue Graftons or Lisa Scottolines or James Pattersons or Janet Evanoviches (pardon the pluralization on these). It would be ever so boring if we all were. I’d much rather be Rebecca Benston writing Rona Shively and reading all of these other great authors who have given me such inspiration and joy over the years. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at

Don’t call me grandma…at least for another twenty years…

As the mother of a four year-old girl, let me be the first to say that I do not support the growing movement toward creating younger grandmothers. What am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about the television shows, movies, and songs out there that glorify teens having sex. Previously, I’ve talked a little about the movie, Juno, but now I’m going to complain about this song called Teenage Love Affair by Alicia Keys. When I first heard this, it just didn’t sit well. For one thing, Alicia Keys is no longer a teenager and if she’s having this kind of affair, it’s most likely illegal. For another, the lyrics:

Hey boy
You know I really like being with you right?
Just hanging out with you is fun

So maybe we can go to first base
Because I feel you
Second base
Want you to feel me too
Third base
Better pump the breaks
Well baby slow down
I gotta go home now

Well, let’s just say that the lyrics caught me off guard. Could you be more suggestive without being Barry White? Perhaps I’m hypersensitive because I have a young daughter who is just now starting to ask questions about music lyrics, but that second base line really sounds bad to me.

During the school year, I substitute teach and I have noticed that kids have changed alot since when I was in school. They are listening to the popular music and trying to act out everything they hear. It’s a little scary to think that there are eleven and twelve year olds out there who are anxiously awaiting their opportunity to have one of these encounters because this song is so popular. I know that there are all kinds of suggestive songs out there, but this one is targeted to a specific population. If it were just a “Love Affair,” then it might be a given that they are not supposed to be doing this until they’re older.

Granted, teenagers have been fooling around since long before this song was ever popular. I understand that. My concern is that we are getting more and more lax in our standards. It really isn’t okay to encourage teens to have sex without at least adding in some information about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. Once they turn 18, they can do what they want but until then it is our responsibility to make sure they understand the consequences of all this seemingly romantic behavior. For example, maybe Ms. Keys could have added some additional verses to her song, something like:

Although I really want this
I can’t help but worry
that I could end up pregnant
if we’re in a hurry

Hope you brought protection
Because I don’t know where else you’ve been
There’s so many dangers to acting on this affection.
I don’t even know where to begin.

Ok, so I never claimed to be a lyricist and that really sucks. The point is that without adding a little warning about the things that can happen when you start having sex, the song is just contributing to the delinquency of minors. I generally like Alicia Keys and have enjoyed her music over the years, however, I’m disappointed in this, her latest effort. It has a good beat, but those words just get in the way.

Years ago, I probably would have loved it. When I was a teenager, I thought it was cool to listen to songs like these and daydream about Prince Charming, but let’s face it, he doesn’t exist. Songs like these leave out the important stuff, like commitment, maturity, and responsibility. Not the most entertaining topics, but when your children are being influenced 100% by these songs, you want those themes to be included in there with all the other stuff. Your other alternative is to turn off the radio and television and blindfold your child and lock them away so that they don’t do anything wrong before they’re 21 or so. That’s not too cool, though.

Until next time…

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