Trick, Tramp, Skank or Slut?

Sorry to put it out there like that, but the topic of my discussion today is going to have to be about women who can’t seem to figure this out. I’ve run into lots of men in my day. I’ve dated a few, loved a couple and even married one. I’ve never been able to understand why it is so easy for a man to stray from the woman he says he loves. It occurred to me that the fault is not entirely that of the man. Though I like to believe that each of us is responsible for our own actions, I have to admit that if there are women out there who are more than willing to offer themselves up as some kind of prize to a man who is teetering on the edge of commitment then they are just as responsible for the behavior as the man who engages in it. And well, those women need to be slapped.

I believe in lifting women up and helping them to achieve their higher potential, but if the woman is so determined to get what she wants that she has no boundaries or respect for what another woman already has, then she doesn’t deserve to be lifted up. These women just don’t seem to care. They look for any and every excuse to justify their behavior.

“Well, if he could be that easily persuaded, then he didn’t love her anyway.” No, if he could be that easily persuaded it just means he’s a douchebag and that she will eventually need to get rid of him. It isn’t your job to be a catalyst. Get your own.

“But he loves me and he’s just staying with her because he doesn’t know how to let her down.” No, he doesn’t love you, skank. He’s just getting what he can get from you until you either move onto the next one or he finds another one of you to add to his lineup.

“She must not be doing her job as a ‘wife, girlfriend, significant other’ or he wouldn’t be looking for something else.” You know, sometimes men just look to be looking. She could be doing everything right even to the point that she’s given up on her own dreams to keep his fulfilled (and that’s usually the case). It is definitely not your place to determine what she may or may not be doing for him. He doesn’t belong to you. You don’t know the situation, you only know what he is telling you and I’ve got news for you, if he’s cheating, he’s also lying and he doesn’t give a damn whether or not he tells you or anyone else the truth.

“She’s let herself go, how can you expect him not to think I’m more attractive?” Beg pardon, trick. No. This is certainly not your call. If she has let herself go, it is probably because he has put her through hell and she’s given up on trying to make herself look good because he didn’t appreciate her when she did. Spend some more time with him and see how you look.

When I was single and out being stupid, I tried to be careful who I spent my time with. Sometimes a man is up front with his status and sometimes he tries to hide it. It used to burn me up to see the same married man out having dinner with his wife in the early evening and then see that same man hugged up with some tramp at the bar later that night. At the time, I didn’t know how to approach it. I thought, “It’s none of my business.” Well, in a way, it should have been my business. I should have said something to them. I knew both of them, not well, but probably well enough to point out that what they were doing was absolutely messed up. It didn’t really hit me until I got married that it would have been nice if I’d had the gumption to speak up. If more people publicly frowned on the behavior, then maybe it wouldn’t happen so often. Wishful thinking, but you never know.

There might have been something to that whole scarlet letter thing. If all the tramps, skanks, and low-down dirty cheaters had to wear a big red letter on their clothing, wouldn’t that be helpful to those of us who are trying to do things the right way? The bottom line is that if he isn’t yours, don’t look at him, don’t touch him, don’t think that he’s just passing the time with his wife until you pop onto the scene ready to satisfy his every desire. No, he’s not been waiting for you. If he was waiting for you, he’d have waited, ho. See, that’s how it works. If someone is waiting on you, they wait. They don’t just take an eleven-year detour and stop off to have a wife and kids while they await your arrival. Funny how that works.

So today’s lesson for all the tricks, tramps, skanks and sluts out there is that we must first look for a wedding ring. Second, we ask the question, “Are you married or living with a steady girlfriend or otherwise engaged?” Third, we make the decision whether or not we want to be part of the problem or part of the solution. Fourth, we think better of ourselves and of other women than to try and settle down with someone who has already been pretending to be settled down with someone else. This is easy. Give it a shot.

Until next time.

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Day Seven-A slight detour into the world of marital infidelity…

I was in the middle of trying to come up with more that I could write about the de-cluttering process when I stumbled across this little gem: An article on Life Script about why men cheat. Aside from being one of the reasons why I’m not doing so well attacking my de-cluttering project, stopping to read this little nugget really did alot to just piss me off. I decided, in my infinite wisdom to address the reasons listed by offering some additional information on each one. Please enjoy my analysis:

Why They Cheat

“The No.1 reason: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.”~Okay, Mr. Buss, you must be out of your mind to think that this is a valid reason. Craving sexual variety is just a fancy way of saying that the man is a skank who can’t be trusted to share his sexual needs and preferences with his wife. If he craves variety, then he should buy a book or something and ask his wife to help him act out some of those fantasies. There is no good reason for a man to ever stray from his wife for sexual gratification.

Buss goes on, with the virtual face-slapping, to say, “They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says. He justifies this statement by saying, “That’s because it’s very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible they’re biologically programmed to mate with many women.” Oh dear Lord, it’s really a good thing I’m not anywhere near this man, lest I slap him in his eye.

Let’s go on to some of the other excuses, shall we. They are doozies.

1. She ain’t what she used to be.

Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.~She’s let herself go? What the hell? How many men out there do you see with beer bellies and thinning hair that do nothing more to improve themselves than to lay on the couch and watch documentaries about things they have no ambition towards, nor would they have the energy to attack should they find themselves standing upright. She’s let herself go, indeed. She let herself go the minute she married you. She needs to let herself go…straight to a lawyer.

In his infinite wisdom, another author cited in this article offers several more excuses. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a simple reason why: boredom,” says Steve Santagati, author of The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date and Mate – and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top.

2. No one loves a ball buster.
Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife. “She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].”~I have only one thing to say to this, “You loved her enough to marry her, wuss!”

3. She just doesn’t “get” me.
Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect.~Well, I do have to agree on this one…sometimes, they just can’t be gotten. But how do you account for the fact that most of these cheaters have no problem telling their mistresses all about their troubles instead of confiding in the one woman who is supposed to be their best friend? How do you explain that one?

4. It’s the thrill.
Most guys who have affairs are getting in touch with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire. “It adds a level of danger,” Santagati says, “and danger adds to the excitement.”~Guys, you need to really get over yourselves. You are not, no matter how many times you have seen Octopussy, international spies. Please stick to living vicariously through the many James Bond movie marathons that are shown on television throughout the year. If you want a thrill, go ride a roller coaster, not some other woman.

5. Blame it on the “hunter.”
Often, married men who cheat can’t quite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. It’s a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer – only this time, they’re hunting and gathering new women.~Are you kidding me? I don’t see many men hanging photos of the women they’ve slept with on their walls the way they hang those ugly ass deer heads up there. Hunter-gatherer, my ass.

6. Biology, baby.
“It’s our biological nature to be with as many females as possible,” Santagati says.~Then it’s in your nature to remain single.

7. It’s just sex.
For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things.~Yes, like laundry and clothing are two separate things. Are you stupid?

8. Not tonight, dear.
Let’s face it. Men want more sex than women.~If they had to put up with the same crap that their wives do, they wouldn’t want sex, either. Since when did marriage equal a free pass to exciting, ever-available sex? Especially when you have children. Men who don’t get sex when they want it act as though they’re spoiled children who didn’t get the toy they asked for at Christmastime. Grow up, please! Sometimes you don’t get everything you want.

9. Because we can.
Ok, we’re guys, remember? It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips.~Check, please!

Well, there you have it. The reasons why men cheat and why we should be mad as hell about them. Ladies, you have my sympathy.

Until next time…

Information for this stunning rebuttal post was taken from the article at, 9 Reasons Why Men Cheat: Is He Being Unfaithful to You?

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