Sorry to put it out there like that, but the topic of my discussion today is going to have to be about women who can’t seem to figure this out. I’ve run into lots of men in my day. I’ve dated a few, loved a couple and even married one. I’ve never been able to understand why it is so easy for a man to stray from the woman he says he loves. It occurred to me that the fault is not entirely that of the man. Though I like to believe that each of us is responsible for our own actions, I have to admit that if there are women out there who are more than willing to offer themselves up as some kind of prize to a man who is teetering on the edge of commitment then they are just as responsible for the behavior as the man who engages in it. And well, those women need to be slapped.
I believe in lifting women up and helping them to achieve their higher potential, but if the woman is so determined to get what she wants that she has no boundaries or respect for what another woman already has, then she doesn’t deserve to be lifted up. These women just don’t seem to care. They look for any and every excuse to justify their behavior.
“Well, if he could be that easily persuaded, then he didn’t love her anyway.” No, if he could be that easily persuaded it just means he’s a douchebag and that she will eventually need to get rid of him. It isn’t your job to be a catalyst. Get your own.
“But he loves me and he’s just staying with her because he doesn’t know how to let her down.” No, he doesn’t love you, skank. He’s just getting what he can get from you until you either move onto the next one or he finds another one of you to add to his lineup.
“She must not be doing her job as a ‘wife, girlfriend, significant other’ or he wouldn’t be looking for something else.” You know, sometimes men just look to be looking. She could be doing everything right even to the point that she’s given up on her own dreams to keep his fulfilled (and that’s usually the case). It is definitely not your place to determine what she may or may not be doing for him. He doesn’t belong to you. You don’t know the situation, you only know what he is telling you and I’ve got news for you, if he’s cheating, he’s also lying and he doesn’t give a damn whether or not he tells you or anyone else the truth.
“She’s let herself go, how can you expect him not to think I’m more attractive?” Beg pardon, trick. No. This is certainly not your call. If she has let herself go, it is probably because he has put her through hell and she’s given up on trying to make herself look good because he didn’t appreciate her when she did. Spend some more time with him and see how you look.
When I was single and out being stupid, I tried to be careful who I spent my time with. Sometimes a man is up front with his status and sometimes he tries to hide it. It used to burn me up to see the same married man out having dinner with his wife in the early evening and then see that same man hugged up with some tramp at the bar later that night. At the time, I didn’t know how to approach it. I thought, “It’s none of my business.” Well, in a way, it should have been my business. I should have said something to them. I knew both of them, not well, but probably well enough to point out that what they were doing was absolutely messed up. It didn’t really hit me until I got married that it would have been nice if I’d had the gumption to speak up. If more people publicly frowned on the behavior, then maybe it wouldn’t happen so often. Wishful thinking, but you never know.
There might have been something to that whole scarlet letter thing. If all the tramps, skanks, and low-down dirty cheaters had to wear a big red letter on their clothing, wouldn’t that be helpful to those of us who are trying to do things the right way? The bottom line is that if he isn’t yours, don’t look at him, don’t touch him, don’t think that he’s just passing the time with his wife until you pop onto the scene ready to satisfy his every desire. No, he’s not been waiting for you. If he was waiting for you, he’d have waited, ho. See, that’s how it works. If someone is waiting on you, they wait. They don’t just take an eleven-year detour and stop off to have a wife and kids while they await your arrival. Funny how that works.
So today’s lesson for all the tricks, tramps, skanks and sluts out there is that we must first look for a wedding ring. Second, we ask the question, “Are you married or living with a steady girlfriend or otherwise engaged?” Third, we make the decision whether or not we want to be part of the problem or part of the solution. Fourth, we think better of ourselves and of other women than to try and settle down with someone who has already been pretending to be settled down with someone else. This is easy. Give it a shot.
Until next time.