It’s one of those things that I’ve never quite been able to overcome. My tendency to put things off until the very last minute is in direct conflict with my sheer disgust in being late or being unprepared. Why then, do I always seem to be putting off doing what I know needs to be done until it becomes a stress building monster that will not let me out of it’s grasp?
That’s a little dramatic for this early in the morning, isn’t it? It really must be the coffee. Friggin’ morning blend always does that to me. But seriously, I have noticed this tendency to create within my world a more stressful situation than there really needs to be. I could easily get these things done in plenty of time since I am always…and I do mean always sitting at the computer. There is no excuse for my not getting work done. Other than I find time-suckers to keep myself occupied because for some reason, I don’t want to let myself focus on the important stuff.
Even writing this blog today is part of the problem. I’m not scheduled to do a post, however, sometimes, I just need to vent. What I should be doing is working on my program outlines, press releases and other materials for my upcoming discussion events. What I find myself doing is wondering what else I can do to keep from working on those things. Sometimes, I feel that someone should just slap me. I was the same way throughout high school and college. I always waited until the night before a big paper or presentation was due to write the entire thing. I always hated trying to plan out presentations because I never, ever stick to my agenda. I’m always improvising because I just can’t do “canned” speeches. Even if I write them. I have to feel somewhat connected to what I am saying or I can’t seem to say it. Once I have written it down, only a few hours can pass before the feelings associated with the writing are permanently archived. The mood has passed.
In spite of an overwhelming need to be punctual and to appear as though I have it all together, I am really a very spontaneous person. This is something I didn’t realize until lately. I like spur-of-the-moment excursions and unplanned road trips. I want to be able to just get up and go without having a plan. I’ve lived my whole life the other way, though, and what has it gotten me: acid reflux and a body full of knotted muscles. It makes it really hard to be the fun person I know I can be.
So, what I’ve been trying to say here, and I’m putting it off until the very last line, of course, is that I really should be working on something else right now.
Until next time…